Forbidden Love

We fall in love with the forbidden ones,
Why I can never fathom,
We resort to make believe,
And lose everything we can gather

Search for perfection and shadows of fantasies
A folly we chose to live in,
With experience of many untouched at our disposal
Wilderness begins to set in

It was uncanny, to come across a person like you,
but our paths crossed and the world seemed better for a few hours.
Happiness is short lived, so they say,
I am starting to believe it now.

What is happiness?
I always wondered.
Is it because of the rush we find in doing things, we shouldn’t?
Or because we find a reason to make believe and end mundane living?

Faith pondered upon these questions,
Answers never to be found
And somehow the temporary happiness makes me happy for now
Forbidden love to go on until we get caught


Stolen Thoughts of Many Lies

There is nothing I would do to eradicate my anxiety
Only when the cold winds rise, shall my sprite rise
There is nothing I would do to make it all right
Only when we speak of togetherness we realize why we urge for lies
Somehow we find solitude, in bickering about ourselves
The more, the merrier we find
Where we make our souls whole and assume it is complete
But all we really do is cloak reality in disguise
– Nishtha Pandey

Validating Relationships

Yesterday, this guy I have been dating for almost a month now, put up a picture we clicked on the second date as his Whatsapp display picture. Although I thought it was a bad picture and I looked horribly un-edited, I was touched by his gesture. Within 24 hours, the picture has changed and so has my idea of this relationship. Now, he made it evidently clear that he is not the “textbook relationship” person, but then again why am I keeping expectations from him about the perfect relationship?

Amidst the heat wave of Indian summer and Everyday People playing on my phone, I found myself wondering – What is the perfect relationship?

Is it the one where people go all mushy-mushy over each other? Where you can always find them in pairs in any picture, post, tweet, party or hoarding? Or is it that relationship where people don’t really care whether or not you are a couple on social media but actually spend time together?

Have we really become the generation that needs social media and corny affectionate PDA’s to validate our relationships?

I have known people that are always Facebooking their dates and letting people know how much they are in love and in complete utter honesty, I have always dissed them. But that’s not what dauntingly haunts me. What has caught me by surprise, have I become one of those people that needs social media and corny PDA’s to validate my relationship?

When we met, this guy and I, it was one of those perfect first dates, no nervousness about looking perfect, in fact we met after work, so we both were pretty retarded at the end of the day. Yet, it was amazing. We sat on the beach for hours and hours, talking about nothing but everything random. There was cigarettes, the beach and us. That day would go down in the history as the Best First Date Ever. The second date too was a grand gesture. By the third date, I was already head over heels for this guy.

I have not met a man in a while that I went out with for a consistent month. My relationships lasted a day and I adored the freedom I got from it. But with this guy, I am looking at the whole nine yards. The idea haunts me.

Has the idea of a relationship with the perfect guy could be any more validating to my ideas of perfection? I think about it, but I find myself in a confusing place. By now the song has changed to Comes & Goes in Waves by Greg Laswell and I am still over-thinking this whole thing.

What will it take to make me more secure about this relationship? Will it be the polite but grand gestures he made when we met? Or will it be the numerous PDA we would forcibly do because it would make me happy?

What will it really take to validate our relationship?

I really like this guy, but does one really need to have a picture perfect relationship album on their Facebook page to be in love? Or is that just an added advantage?

I guess out of all the men I have been with, I have particular enjoyed the moments that are captured nowhere except for in my memories, but sometimes, it is nice to be flaunted around.

It certainly feels like you are worth it. Until then, we will always have memories and cigarettes.